these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'm passing your future prison.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
