She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
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