I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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