Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
