shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize