he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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