I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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