Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
