Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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