i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
