Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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