do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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