Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
