Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
