you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
