What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
