i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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