My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
