He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
