see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
