my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
