Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
