are you still at the devil's house?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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