I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
