it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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