cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
