Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
