it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
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