That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
