My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
