his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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