I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize