just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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