Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
