he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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