Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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