You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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