Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
