Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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