he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
