i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
