Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
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