It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize