I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
We have started to decorate penises.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
