If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Randomize
