I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
