just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm really busy with my period
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