Plan B is the new Plan A
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
