No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
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Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
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YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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