I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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