You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
