I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize