Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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