suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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