Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Come see our sink grown plant.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
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..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
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Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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