Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
its liver damage thursday
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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